The Golden Rules of Ensemble Playing

[Gandalfe]

After my jazz combo, the Dissonance practiced last night with four subs sight-reading the music for a gig this Sunday, the horn's lead, a trumpet player, sent this guidance. It just made me laugh so I thought I'd share it with y'all.

1. Everyone should try to play the same piece.

2. Stop at every repeat sign and discuss in detail whether to take the repeat or not. Audiences will love this a lot!

3. If you play a wrong note, give a nasty look to one of your partners.

4. Keep your fingering chart handy. You can always catch up with the others further on in the piece.

5. Carefully tune your instrument before playing. That way you can play out of tune all night with a clear conscience.

6. Take your time turning pages.

7. The right note at the wrong time is a wrong note (and vice-versa).

8. If everyone gets lost except you, follow those who get lost.

9. Strive to get the maximum NPS (note per second). That way you gain the admiration of the incompetent.

10. Markings for slurs, dynamics and ornaments should not be observed. They are only there to embellish the score.

11. If a passage is difficult, slow down. If it's easy, speed it up. Everything will work itself out in the end.

12. If you are completely lost, stop everyone and say, "I think we should tune".

13. Happy are those who have not perfect pitch, for the kingdom of music is theirs.

14. If the ensemble has to stop because of you, explain in detail why you got lost. Everyone will be very interested.

15. A true interpretation is realized when there remains not one note of the original.

16. When everyone else has finished playing, you should not play any notes you have left.

17. A wrong note played timidly is a wrong note. A wrong note played with authority is an interpretation.
_________________
Olde Towne Brass
www.otbrass.com (http://www.otbrass.com/)

[Carl H.]

You sure you weren't at our rehearsal with a new bari player last week?:roll:

[Gandalfe]

With community concert band starting up next week, I'm inclined to send this to all the players. :twisted:

[Helen]

After my jazz combo, the Dissonance practiced last night with four subs sight-reading the music for a gig this Sunday, the horn's lead, a trumpet player, sent this guidance. It just made me laugh so I thought I'd share it with y'all.

1. Everyone should try to play the same piece.

2. Stop at every repeat sign and discuss in detail whether to take the repeat or not. Audiences will love this a lot!

3. If you play a wrong note, give a nasty look to one of your partners.

4. Keep your fingering chart handy. You can always catch up with the others further on in the piece.

5. Carefully tune your instrument before playing. That way you can play out of tune all night with a clear conscience.

6. Take your time turning pages.

7. The right note at the wrong time is a wrong note (and vice-versa).

8. If everyone gets lost except you, follow those who get lost.

9. Strive to get the maximum NPS (note per second). That way you gain the admiration of the incompetent.

10. Markings for slurs, dynamics and ornaments should not be observed. They are only there to embellish the score.

11. If a passage is difficult, slow down. If it's easy, speed it up. Everything will work itself out in the end.

12. If you are completely lost, stop everyone and say, "I think we should tune".

13. Happy are those who have not perfect pitch, for the kingdom of music is theirs.

14. If the ensemble has to stop because of you, explain in detail why you got lost. Everyone will be very interested.

15. A true interpretation is realized when there remains not one note of the original.

16. When everyone else has finished playing, you should not play any notes you have left.

17. A wrong note played timidly is a wrong note. A wrong note played with authority is an interpretation.
_________________
Olde Towne Brass
www.otbrass.com (http://www.otbrass.com/)

Mmm...Not sure what to make of this. Were any of these directed at any of us in particular? :grin:

[Gandalfe]

Mmm...Not sure what to make of this. Were any of these directed at any of us in particular? :grin:Um, the drummer, the tbone, the pianist... There was enough new people fumbling to go around for all of us. I know I had my moments.

[Adagio]

A wrong note played with authority is an interpretation.


I like it; I'll try to use this at my next sax lesson.

[SuperAction80]

:lol: Gandalfe, that is one of the funniest things I've seen in a forum in a while. Don't feel bad, we've all gone through this. OTOH, as bad as some horn sections are, some vocalists are faaaaaaaaar worse by themselves.

[Groovekiller]

After my jazz combo, the Dissonance practiced last night with four subs sight-reading the music for a gig this Sunday, the horn's lead, a trumpet player, sent this guidance. It just made me laugh so I thought I'd share it with y'all.

1. Everyone should try to play the same piece.

2. Stop at every repeat sign and discuss in detail whether to take the repeat or not. Audiences will love this a lot!

3. If you play a wrong note, give a nasty look to one of your partners.

4. Keep your fingering chart handy. You can always catch up with the others further on in the piece.

5. Carefully tune your instrument before playing. That way you can play out of tune all night with a clear conscience.

6. Take your time turning pages.

7. The right note at the wrong time is a wrong note (and vice-versa).

8. If everyone gets lost except you, follow those who get lost.

9. Strive to get the maximum NPS (note per second). That way you gain the admiration of the incompetent.

10. Markings for slurs, dynamics and ornaments should not be observed. They are only there to embellish the score.

11. If a passage is difficult, slow down. If it's easy, speed it up. Everything will work itself out in the end.

12. If you are completely lost, stop everyone and say, "I think we should tune".

13. Happy are those who have not perfect pitch, for the kingdom of music is theirs.

14. If the ensemble has to stop because of you, explain in detail why you got lost. Everyone will be very interested.

15. A true interpretation is realized when there remains not one note of the original.

16. When everyone else has finished playing, you should not play any notes you have left.

17. A wrong note played timidly is a wrong note. A wrong note played with authority is an interpretation.

Olde Towne Brass
www.otbrass.com (http://www.otbrass.com/)

You know, of course, that this post will probably surface around the world on various musical sites. As for #4, I keep a small fingering chart, on an index card, and a saxophone lyre to hold it. I pull it out whenever necessary to avoid making negative comments. I also suggest writing fingerings on the sax parts themselves. Incorrect fingerings are even better.
_________________
Olde Towne Brass
www.otbrass.com (http://www.otbrass.com/)[/QUOTE]