Elevator Music?

pete

Brassica Oleracea
Staff member
Administrator
An appropriate subtitle to this thread might be, "Lost another one to Smooth Jazz."

I've mentioned several songs that I'm very fond of in the What Are You Listening to Today? thread. Some of those I have copied onto my MP3 player.

The other day, I'm picking up my 13-year-old daughter and I was playing a nice little piano bar-style ballad called Adieu. The 13-year-old called it "elevator music". Her opinion didn't improve when I went on to Pearls -- which is neither jazz nor is really classifiable as anything other than "I think it sounds good". (I do think she kinda enjoyed Papa Plastic.)

If any of you jazz purists out there want to have even more of a conniption, she feels about the same way regarding the Dave Brubeck Quartet.

Now, my 5-year-old bops along to some of the more esoteric J-Pop stuff I listen to (Yellow Vacation, anyone?), and she at least tolerates and seems to like the other stuff, too.

Anyhow, I generally say something like, "No, it's not 'elevator music', it's good music. You should expand your horizons beyond Hannah Montana."
 
One of my favorite cartoons showed a man playing violin in an elevator. Behind him a sign read,

"Pardon the inconvenience. The Muzak is being repaired."

One night on a gig at the Bonaventure Convention Center in South Florida, I was in the mens room on a break and noticed that the "Muzak" was Miles Davis.

I'm really freakin' old.
 
Like it or not, that horrid "elevator music" that all musician profess to abhor is closer to the mainstream of "what's desired in music" than anyone likes to think.

We are too close to the problem to truly appreciate it, and as we buy comparatively little music ourselves, our tastes (or, our "current playlist", as the New York (NY) Times loves to put in their lifestyle interviews of endless numbers of anonymous (to me, at least) celebrities) do not count for that much in the grand world of marketing. Thus, while we may be much more expert in the making of music, the music that we make (even the best of it) has a limited appeal.

I love to use the music that everyone says that they hate, disco, as the example here. It is quite fashionable to diss the sequin and Spandex crowd these days, and even the word "disco" is a source of instant humor when employed in the right setting. But, some of the most popular stuff that we play comes from our ample collection of disco tunes. At weddings and benefits, there's nothing guaranteed to fill up the dance floor like the opening notes of I Will Survive or Last Dance. And, if you pay attention, the sports highlights on television are usually accompanied by the same four to the bar, gallop tempo disco beats (although the songs are usually anonymous).

"Easy listening" or whatever you wish to call it is another category that gets a lot of grief from musicians in particular, totally ignoring the fact that it's providing employment for some of our not so catholic (in the small "C" sense of the word) brethren. While it may not be the most challenging of what is done, it is melodic and it does seem to please a large number of people. As music is a big tent (unlike the Republican Party of today), they can occupy their corner of it without threatening me, just like the rockers and the others.

"Elevator music" may also come in for some mockery, but for even less reason than the two categories above. Remember, said elevator music is being piped into locations that are not normally thought of as "entertainment venues". Somebody thinks that it's a pretty good idea to provide gratuitous entertainment where none would seem to be necessary, and (the research shows) they are quite correct in doing so.

Musak (yes, there actually is such a company) is a music giant that few even know of. They research, arrange, perform and distribute a number of "private" music channels, to which savvy users subscribe for a variety of reasons. Some are similar to normal music performance uses (a bar that wants quiet background without commercials or station identification, and without worrying about the seat tax), and others are anything but.

We have all heard of shopping malls that pipe in classical stuff to deter the presence of loitering teens. Musak does this sort of thing and much more. I worked for the then-Veterans Administration back in the 1970's, and was part of a committee to increase productivity of the administrative staff at our Regional Office at that time. One of the ideas floated was to allow individuals to bring in their radios to entertain them while they worked.

That didn't work, as everyone wanted something different. Instead, the agency next tried Musak, paying for one of their "upbeat" channels out of a fund provided for "employee moral" and piping through the already in-place speaker system. That worked, and worked in spades. People stopped chatting with others, as the Mantovanni stuff that was provided tended to keep people quiet and occupied with work. And the music cycled on and off (I think that it was 50 minutes on, 10 minutes off, but I could be mistaken at this remove), so it never really got to the point where it was omnipresent. Overall the office showed a mid-teens improvement in productivity by the time that I left.

(Of course, some could argue that my departure was the cause of the increase...)

Musak devours music at a tremendous pace, and the company's contractors are constantly trying to add to the mix. And, they pull tunes in from all sources, some of them pretty unlikely.

I will never forget the day when I was riding an elevator in a high rise Federal building up in Chicago, when out of the speaker issued the obscure Sondheim tune Love Is Going Around. This was the original "signature tune" of the musical A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Forum, but had been demoted during the opening in New Haven (or wherever), to be replaced by the epic Comedy Tonight! by which the show is today known.

Love Is Going Around did not go back into the trunk, however. Instead, it has been demoted to incidental music underneath the post-entracte narrative that brings the audience up to date on the plot. No words, of course, and played no louder than mp. And, there it slumbered for fifty-plus years or so, un-noticed by anyone other than the clarinet players who carried the melody line (it is catchy enough, in a pleasant sort of way) and me in that elevator.

I have a friend from my high school days, a dynamite bass clarinet player (better than me, even, he says modestly) who ended up as a contractor for Musak. He once told me that they ran an arrangement once, did a little touchup on parts that needed some work, and then put it in the can in one take. Doing this over an eight hour day may not be as glamorous as playing a gig in a first class venue, but he said it did pay the bills quite nicely...
 
Here's a hard one to top.

I was in a rehearsal for a symphony I used to play with and we had just hit break time. I walked over to use the facilities - did I mention this was taking place in a rather large performing hall? - and for our muzak we had The Academy of St Martin in the Fields, a live feed from the main stage where they were giving a concert.

Many of us were disappointed the rehearsal wasn't rescheduled so we could attend the performance, but you have to admit, that was some great break time muzak.
 
What's worse than elevator music is what's played when you're put on hold in some call center. Greensleeves, anyone? Arrgh.
 
"Elevator Music" Stories

1. I used to work for a Denny's-type restaurant and they had a Muzak-type deal. One day I was positive that they were piping in the Muzak version of Ina Gadda Davita.

2. As mentioned, I used to work as the assistant to the director. We went out to lunch one day and the Muzak was playing the exact arrangement of "We Three Kings" we were going to do for the Christmas concert.

(He considered canceling the piece. I approved of that choice, because I thought that the piece sounded kinda trite, but we still played it.)

===========

The point of my original post wasn't to mock either "easy listening" or "smooth jazz", but to point out that "teh new g-g-g-generation" is thinking that some really good stuff should be relegated to extended play in the Men's Room at your local Friday's. There's something wrong with that.

Again, I think that David Sanborn is an excellent player, I just don't like his compositions. I also really liked Kenny G's "Songbird", but I hated it when he trashed "What a Wonderful World" with his playing (as I would with any musican that didn't have the requisite chops to keep up with Louis Armstrong).
 
Whenever my daughters complain about the Muzak wafting through the air, I begin my version of "Name That Tune". Oddly enough, they care even less that I can name the tunes. =) But it sure makes me smile to see them squirm a little. It also nips the complaining in the bud.
 
A diatribe about music that ends up being about age...

As for our parents, so too for us. As for us, so too for our children. And so the continuum continues, stretching off into the future as well as receding back into the past.

Music is a cultural event, and culture is constantly evolving. "Tastes" shift in society overall, but (once established) they tend to be perpetuated for a particular grouping. And, once the boundaries are set, resistance to change tends to be very, very strong.

Look at any segment of "modern" music, for example. We are in the midst of a "rock festival" here in The Bayou City, and the newspapers have been full of "reviews" of rock acts like Alice Cooper. While the reviews have been short on musical substance (they mostly consist of a list of the songs performed, with very little musical commentary, and are only noted for the commentary on the antics onstage ("Cooper then threw a female mannequin around, with blood issuing from the mouth")), there is more than ample description that makes it very clear that the fans are aging folks clinging to a musical style that is - ahem - "dated".

Nothing wrong with that. We all know about old folks who still love the sounds of the big bands, and at any casino on any given weekend you can find rafts of aging rock 'n' roll adherents gettin' down to (insert name of '60's rock act here). Sure, each of these "styles" of music will have fans of all ages. However, each era's grouping will tend to center around a given age group.

And, whether a given grouping likes it or not, "their" music is doomed to become "dated", "last year's news", or whatever term the kids are using these days ("def"???). While inevitable to a certain extent (the young ridiculing the old is nothing new), it also follows that the same process is just down the road for the current "incumbent" crowd. What is new and fresh becomes old and dated, as sure as God made little green apples (etc., etc., etc.).

It transcends music and can equally be applied to all aspects of life. "Old men walking around in high waisted slacks in weird patterned fabric" may define a certain aged grouping, but waiting right around the corner is "old men in too tight blue jeans with overlong hair", and lurking somewhere in the future are the old men in flannel shirts or whatever else is au courant at this point in time.

(I think that the current "youth" grouping is going to be known for their distorted and "blued out" tattoos when they reach old age. Already, I see quite a few attempts by thirty-somethings to hide their body art when out in public. Watch young modern girls wearing low-waist pants and tank tops try to twitch their ensemble so that their butt-crack tattoos don't show - it's very entertaining.)

In the end, it's not just music - it's about all aspects of life. We are too close to the issue to see it clearly, unless you make a concerted effort to view things from a detached view. For my abilities to do this, I have my father to thank. He always told me that, before I should make light of the habits and practices of "old folks", I should first remember that I was looking at myself, thirty or forty years hence.

All in all, it works pretty well. I've practiced the same with my two kids, and they both seem to be remarkably free of "old folk ridicule". I can only hope that they pass it on.
 
About once a week I go to a local Chinese Buffet. They play what might be called Chinese Muzak. It's basically really bad arrangements of American popular songs. The last time I was there they were playing the theme from Forrest Gump. I believe I have heard the Chinese version of Songbird as well. The food is pretty good and the music makes for a series of smiles and laughs.
 
I used to work for a Denny's-type restaurant and they had a Muzak-type deal.

I eat in restaurants every day and just cannot stand about 85% of what they play. There are restaurants with great food that I won't go to because the music drives me insane.

How many times per week can a person listen to "Here I am, the one that you love", or "R-E-S-P-E-C-T", or "I've Had The Time Of My Life"? After hearing any of these, just once, is once too much for me.
 
I eat in restaurants every day and just cannot stand about 85% of what they play. There are restaurants with great food that I won't go to because the music drives me insane.
It's a really short drive, for me. More like a brisk walk.
 
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