What to do about unwanted clarinets?

If you got a beater instrument, why not?

(I didn't know the paperclip had a lyre attachment. Live and learn...)
Y'know, I don't remember if mine did or not and I'm currently too lazy to look for a pic. Anyone have a contra clarinet (Eb or Bb) that has a lyre attachment?
 
I do remember the bass clarinets I played did have them. I just did a brief check of straight contras and there's no lyre. (Nice looking silver-plated one, tho.)

I know: a marching contra is a bit absurd, but there were compact contras that you could have conceivably marched with. A straight horn? Well, maybe if you were riding a horse ....
 
Why? seriously, marching with the beast (my 221ii) is bad enough! The tone goes nuts when it's cold out, and it's always cold when we're out marching:(
 
No, it's not ALWAYS cold: it can be absurdly hot, rainy, or snowy. Or they have elephants.
 
It's always cold in Norway. Snow on the 17th of may is always fun, especially when we're wearing our horrible thin wool uniforms at 7:30 in the morning.
 
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